I miss Ananias (29 September 2013)

• A life guide

We sometimes feel lost on our life journey, being shaken by futile thoughts. Unfortunately, life does not provide any electronic navigation systems, so we have to make a choice of our own and decide our next step every time. When doing so, we feel in need of a good guidance from somebody like a mentor, a teacher, or a senior. Saul in today’s scripture reading is in a situation that requires a guide desperately. Saul is Apostle Paul’s old name.

Originally, Saul had a very clear goal to achieve in his life. Being devoted to Judaism, he persecuted people who were following Jesus, and took the job of taking care of the clothes of those who stoned Stephen to death. One day, he heard Jesus’ crowd gather in Damascus, and so he went there to arrest them all with an official document from the chief priests. When he arrived near Damascus, he confronted a mysterious light. He fell down from his horse, extremely astonished and scared. Then a voice from heaven said, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” Saul asked, “Who are you, Lord?” The voice answered, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.” Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. He had to be led by other people into Damascus. He has become utterly incapable, which is a sudden reversal of his life.

I interpret his blindness as his spiritual dark night. The spiritual darkness refers to the time when one finds everything he/she has valued most to become nothing, and his/her future suddenly appears uncertain. It’s the time when one’s previous desire, obsession, knowledge and goal get totally meaningless. As for Saul, his education at the most prestigious private school, being a Pharisee, being a Roman citizenship holder, and his passion for God have become nothing. He used to think that his life purpose was crystal clear, but now his life is just chaotic. He desperately needs a spiritual guide.

• God’s imagination

A man names Ananias is called for the job. He seems to be an important figure in the Christian community in Damascus. While fully acknowledging what happened to Stephen in Jerusalem and the fact that a persecutor was coming to Damascus and the persecutor was the notorious Saul, Ananias hears in a vision:

11. The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying.
12. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”

This is a striking news, a call that Ananias can’t accept easily. He appeals to God by telling that Saul’s purpose is to persecute saints of God. However, God continues:

15. But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel.
16. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”

How amazing. The Lord wants to make his servant the man who has been successfully persecuting and oppressing God’s people. Whenever I read this story, I cannot help being thrilled at God’s imagination in a story like this in the Bible. God who turns a persecutor into a preacher…

Brothers and sisters, God creates something from a complete nothing by using his imagination, as you see the event of creation in Genesis 1. The Bible is filled with stories of God’s infinite imagination. When the Israelites were about to die at the Red sea, God divided the waters. When they were thirsty, God made water flow out of rocks in the desert. When they were hungry, God provided manna. Also, God turned the place of death called Golgotha into the gate for eternal life.

Now God is seeing an image of a faithful gospel preacher from a persecutor like Saul. To human, past and future are out of their control. However, to God, both of them are reality. That is what is meant by “God is eternal”. He makes the stones the builders rejected into the head corner stone.

• Enthusiasm toward a different direction

When Ananias understands God’s plan, he cannot but obey his call. He then visits Saul, even though his fear of Saul still didn’t disappear. He does so because he has faith in God. Faith is to say ‘Amen’ to God’s plan of a matter that can look stupid and incomprehensible, and give trust to God.

For instance of faith: Gideon collected soldiers in preparation of a war against the Midianites. However, God told him that the number was too high and made 2000 soldiers go back home. And again God said the number was still high. In the end, Gideon returned 20000 soldiers back home, and fought against the Midianites with only 300 soldiers. Then why did God not tell Gideon to collect 300 men at the very beginning? It was in order to test the faith of Gideon. What God wants is a complete trust in God, but not calculation of the future. Faith is to acknowledge that God’s thoughts are different from ours, and God’s way is different from ours. Having faith in God, Gideon was able to win the war.

Now Ananias comes to Saul at Straight Street and reveals his purpose of visit. He reminds Saul that the darkness he’s been experiencing is a creative chaos that is supposed to rebuild him. Whenever we encounter unwanted failure, disease, and helplessness, we must acknowledge that such a time is not a misfortune but the time God rebuilds our life in the right way. A true misfortune is not to be able to recognize the meaning of the dark moment.

So far, Saul has been captivated by blind enthusiasm and self-righteousness. He’s been judging many people that what they did was wrong and only what he did was right. Now God is trying to transform Saul’s misguided passion into an enthusiasm for the gospel.

17. Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord–Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here–has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”

In this short verse, Ananias uses the word ‘brother’ four times. He considers Saul as the one who is born again in the same womb called Jesus Christ as he was. Finally, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes. Scales of erroneous enthusiasm, prejudice, competitive spirit and self-righteousness fell down. His eyes that were confined within the spiritual darkness begin to receive a new light. Now a new kind of passion is enthralling him. Ultimate peace and joy fill his heart now, in place of hatred and competition. At long last, he has become a servant of Jesus.

• Ananias’ in our life

While the Lord provides a new life for Saul, the one who bridges between God and Saul is Ananias. The name Ananias is related to the word ‘Hananiah’, meaning ‘The Lord is full of grace.’ Even if he is not that famous or important in the history of Christianity, through his beautiful devotion and obedience did a man meet the light of Jesus and become the greatest preacher to deliver the light to many people in the entire world.

We sometimes meet an Ananias of our life. Totally unexpectedly, we witness an Ananias guide ourselves to a light in our dark night of our spirit. Those Ananias deliver God’s grace to us with their words, acts and even only with their presence. They show up at an unexpected moment and rebuild us and our community.

Furthermore, there are times when we ourselves need to serve others like Ananias. When we approach them and show God’s grace, we are Ananias for them. I hope you take this word as God’s. I hope you can obey God’s call to “Go”, and take people like Saul as God’s brothers. I pray that you don’t hesitate to take risks of love. As the Lord has sent Ananias to you in your hard moments, you also become an Ananias for someone and show God’s beauty and Grace, I pray. Amen.